Super Knitting Nanny

I've often thought I should hire myself out as a nanny. Not to watch the children but to mind the knitter.

The way beginning knitting is typically taught, you spend one or two hours with a class, then send them on their way to muddle through the week. They don't know from twisted stitches, extra increases or missed knits. I suspect these hapless newbies spend a good deal of time staring at the wool in their laps wishing for a good stiff drink.

So much for knitting's vaunted relaxation properties.

Enter Super Knitting Nanny (SKN). As SKN, I would swoop in, embed myself in the household, put my feet up, and for a hefty fee, answer any and all knitting questions.

"Tut, tut, you're knitting too tightly! Off to the naughty step with you!"

"Why you're not tensioning your yarn. Time out!"

"You're not practicing? This behavior is totally unacceptable."

The truth is, it takes a while before a knitter can set themselves straight. Wouldn't it be nice to have a saucy in-house knitter there to eat your food, drink your wine and fix the odd dropped stitch?



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