I may look like a cute little kitty, but I’m really Satan. I’m successfully driving my human minions insane by sucking on their backs, toes, armpits and noses. 5 a.m. is my favorite time to do this. Sometimes the female minion hides under the sheets; she thinks she can escape me. I just jump from her head to her stomach then onto her face. She screams sometimes. I think it’s working.

Right now I’m plotting to put Stanley in a headlock and tumble him off the bed. Then I’ll have dominion over this comforter. Next stop, the world!