What not to get your grumpy middle-aged knitter for Valentine’s Day

  1. A Dyson DC22 Turbinehead Vacuum
  2. A membership to 24-Hour Fitness
  3. Really sharp knitting needles
  4. A gift certificate to Frederick's of Hollywood
  5. A riding mower
  6. DVDs to knit by like Fight Club and Reservoir Dogs
  7. A massage with your new favorite therapist, 22-year-old Ginger--36-24-36
  8. A stuffed bear with a heart on its chest from King Soopers. Can you say, "organ donor"?
  9. A George Forman Grill
  10. A 2010 Dodge Charger with the AWD P Package in TorRed


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